


Honeymoon Misadventure

by RobinsonsWereHere



Series: Plant a Little Happiness (Let The Roots Run Deep) [1]
Category: Psych (TV 2006)
Genre: Airports, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, First Aid, Fugitives, Honeymoon, Law Enforcement, Missing Scene, On the Run, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post Psych: The Movie, Sibling Relationship, Tension, found family vs bio family, tense relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29145876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinsonsWereHere/pseuds/RobinsonsWereHere
Summary: When Ewan crashes into psychphransisco, he drags Shawn and Gus into his escapades without giving them much of a say. But while Shawn and Gus didn't have much time to object, Juliet hasplentyto say about it. But object as she does, she, Shawn, Gus, and Selene, still end up running across the world with her brother.It's one hell of a honeymoon.
Relationships: Burton "Gus" Guster & Shawn Spencer, Burton "Gus" Guster/Selene, Carlton Lassiter & Juliet O'Hara, Ewan O'Hara & Juliet O'Hara, Juliet O'Hara/Shawn Spencer
Series: Plant a Little Happiness (Let The Roots Run Deep) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1941595
Comments: 45
Kudos: 15





	1. Congratulations!

“And so I’m sitting here all dressed up with a chinese takeout box in my lap, like, I thought we were _actually_ going out to dinner,” Selene says. “And also, how am I supposed to eat with chopsticks in a moving car? It was ridiculous! I swear, If it hadn’t been from my favorite Chinese place I would’ve gotten out and walked home. So it’s dark, and we’re just driving up into the hills, and Burton still won’t tell me where we’re going…”

Juliet tries to tune out her new friend’s retelling of her wild date the week before, but seeing as Selene seems to naturally speak at volume eleven, it’s difficult. She checks her watch; half an hour until their flight. If Shawn and Gus aren’t in security, at the least, there’s a good chance they could miss it…

“Have you heard from Gus?”

Selene looks legitimately offended. “Are you listening? I’m just getting to the part where Gus takes me out on this freezing cold mountain but surprises me with a telescope and a picnic blanket!”

“Sorry,” Juliet apologizes, pasting on her sweetest smile. “I’m just a little distracted. Because, y’know, we have to be on a plane in twenty-five minutes, and Shawn and Gus are nowhere to be seen.”

“Wait, we’ve only got a half an hour!?” Selene pulls out her phone, her eyes widening. “Wow! Time really does fly when you’re having fun. Must be the company!”

The good news is, what happens next keeps Juliet from having to respond to that.

The bad news is… everything else.

She hears a loud voice at the same time she feels a heavy hand clap her shoulder. “Hey sis! Congratula--” but the speaker doesn’t get to finish, because before Juliet even processes the words or the voice, she’s grabbed the arm on her shoulder, twisted it, and pivoted to ram her knee into the attacker’s groin.

Her brother doubles over in pain, making a choking noise, and the removal of his hulking form from her field of vision reveals Shawn and Gus behind him, groaning in sympathy.

“Woah!” Naturally, Selene is the first to speak. “Will you teach me to do that?”

Juliet ignores her, too busy trying to figure out why the hell her brother-- who is supposed to be _in prison--_ is now crashing her honeymoon. “Shawn, what’s going on?”

“I have no clue,” Shawn says, sounding breathless, “but the choices were either follow Ewan, or get attacked by a literal SWAT team. So, uh. Here we are.”

Utterly bewildered, Juliet looks from her brother to her husband and back again. “What is going on? What are you doing here? This is my honeymoon, for god’s sake!”

Ewan looks around like he thinks someone is following him, which, if Shawn isn’t exaggerating, might be the case. “Uh, it’s a long story, and we don’t have time… does this make it better?” He hands her a wrapped gift.

Juliet has never been more confused in her life. “What? What’s this?”

“Wedding present.”

She decides that opening it will give more answers than continuing this line of questioning, but she’s proved wrong again when she opens a box containing a high-grade military handgun. It’s a sleek, impressive weapon, and her first instinct is to remove it from the box and test its heft, see how it feels in her hand, but--

“This is a gun! How did you get it through airport security!?”

“We didn’t come through security.” The look Ewan gives her makes it seem like the sentence should be followed by a ‘duh’.

If it’s possible for a human to spontaneously combust, Juliet is in real danger. “Are. You. Kidding.” She looks back at Shawn. “Please tell me this is a joke.”

Her husband looks offended. “Oh, yeah, I busted your brother out of jail and dragged him to the airport when we’ve got fifteen minutes until we leave for our honeymoon as a practical joke.”

Juliet folds her arms over her chest, and Gus nudges Shawn. “That does sound like something you would do.”

“It does not!”

Ewan clears his throat, as if they’re the ones interrupting _him,_ as if he’s the one who’s about to be hopelessly late for his flight. Juliet scowls when she realizes they’re standing in the same position, their posture mirroring each other.

“Hey,” he says, “as fun as this witty banter is, we really shouldn’t stick around here too long.”

Juliet sets her hands on her hips, trying to emulate their mother. “Oh, yeah? What, you think you’re just gonna come to Jamaica with us, after showing up unannounced when you haven’t spoken to me in eight years? Not even so much as a, ‘hey, I’m not dead’!?”

Okay, sibling pettiness has negated any success of her imitation. At least she’s self-aware enough to realize it.

“Wow, sorry I didn’t attempt to check in with _the cop who arrested me_ after I snuck out of jail!” Ewan scowls, a dark shadow passing over his face. “Juliet, you have made it plenty clear that you don’t trust me.”

“Of course I don’t trust you! You killed a man!”

“It’s not like you knew him personally!”

“Oh my _god,_ Ewan, I shouldn’t have to fucking tell you that _murder is illegal!”_

“Jules.” Shawn taps her urgently on the shoulder. “Uh, I’m on your side here, but seeing as Ewan and Gus and I kinda had to sneak through security, we might wanna all keep it down so we don’t--” he winces as an official-looking man in a TSA uniform comes over. “...get any unwanted attention.”

“Excuse me, is there an issue here?” the agent asks politely. “If you’re having trouble figuring out where you’re supposed to be, I can escort you--”

“Sorry, buddy!” Ewan says, and then he knocks the man out with a sucker punch.

“Oh my god.” Juliet looks from her brother to the surrounding company, Shawn, Gus, and Selene all looking as shocked as she feels. “Okay, that’s it, let’s get out of here. Screw the flight, I’m getting you to the station before you do any more damage.”

“You’re half right.” Ewan lifts their suitcases without asking. “We do have to get out of here. But I’m the only one who knows where we’re going.” He beckons the other three forward. “C’mon, we gotta hurry.”

“Hey!” Juliet throws out an arm to stop Selene following him. “She is a civilian! We are _not_ going on the run from whatever special ops team is after you! Did I mention this was supposed to be my honeymoon!?”

“I’ll take us somewhere nice, then,” Ewan grumbles. “C’mon, stop arguing. We’re running out of time.”

Juliet doesn’t know why she follows him. She’s the head detective of the SFPD. She can turn around and leave, can book another flight to Jamaica, can let Ewan go on his own, or even bring him in, But instead, she acqueises.

She doesn’t know why, exactly, she does it, but she does know that even after all these years, after everything he’s done, she can’t just abandon her brother.


	2. You've Won A Free Trip to Norway!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our motley crew makes a daring escape from the airport. It is not smooth sailing from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just finished this chapter this morning, but I'm really glad I'm able to stick to a Monday posting schedule! I don't want to promise anything, but I'm gonna try to make this weekly updates.

Shawn trails hesitantly behind Juliet as they follow Ewan through areas of the airport they’re definitely not supposed to be in. Ewan is walking with speed and purpose, and Juliet is staying right with him, not letting him out of her reach, let alone her sight, but Shawn, Gus, and Selene are moving considerably slower. He doesn’t know about them, but he’s not so sure he wants to follow Ewan blindly any more than absolutely necessary.

If Jules thinks it’s necessary, though, he’ll go.

“You guys don’t have to do this,” he mutters to his best friend. “You can just peel off, find a normal exit, get back to normal life.”

“C’mon, son,” Gus snaps.

“They don’t even know your name, buddy,” Shawn says, only half joking.

“Man, you know I’m sticking with you!”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Shawn says with a shrug. “Selene? What about you?”

“Are you kidding!? This is _so cool!”_ she says. “Absolutely wild. I’m having the most fun I’ve had in, like, ever!”

Shawn gives Gus the best grin he can manage, reaching around him to fist bump Selene. “I knew I liked her.”

They weave through dark hallways and closed doors, going down and down and down, until the final door opens to sunlight that makes them all wince and blink. Ewan only pulls out a pair of sunglasses, the cool reflective kind with no frame on the bottom. “Over there. The tiny one.”

“You do _not_ have a pilot’s license,” Juliet snaps, like this is the most illegal part of what they’ve done today.

“No, I don’t,” Ewan agrees. “But I do know a pilot.”

Shawn squints at the plane. It doesn’t _look_ like a fancy military plane, but then again, they can hide in plain sight these days…

As they get closer, though, the pilot hops out, and he is most definitely _not_ black ops.

“Hey, Ewan!” Lloyd French says. “Thanks for calling me, really appreciate the vote of confidence. Oh! Hi, Juliet!”

Shawn winces, and while they’re all waiting for the fallout from this latest revelation, Ewan moves past Lloyd and climbs into the plane. “Get back in the cockpit, Lloyd.”

“Oh, no.”

Lloyd must be smarter than Shawn had previously estimated, because he listens to Juliet instead of Ewan. “Um… you seem surprised to see me.”

Juliet looks like she’s about to burst a blood vessel. “Oh, my god. What in the _hell_ are you doing here!? Does my mom know?”

“I mean…” Lloyds scrubs a hand over the back of his neck. “Ewan said he just needed one quick ride, and I thought, what’s the harm? Surely Maryanne won’t mind me helping out you kids…”

She gives him the most unamused look Shawn has ever seen, and he’s been on the receiving end of plenty of unamused looks. “I’m thirty-six, Lloyd. And Ewan is well into his forties.”

“Just get in the plane, Julie,” Ewan calls.

“Yeah, I’d rather not,” she snarks. “I don’t trust your pilot that much. Last time he flew a plane he nearly crashed it into a Mexican airstrip owned by a corrupt branch of their law enforcement.”

“There you go,” Ewan says, “blame the government. Just get in the damn plane, Juliet, you’ve come this far.”

For a moment, they’re frozen in a standoff, Ewan half-hanging out of the plane and Juliet planted like a tree in a stance Shawn knows from watching her workouts is referred to as her Wonder Woman posture. But Juliet gives in, hauling herself into the plane in an impressively fluid and graceful move. 

“If we die,” she grumbles, “I’m never going to forgive you.”

Ewan chuckles as he climbs in and helps everyone else up. “Does that mean I’ve got a chance now?”

\---

Juliet leans into Shawn, pulling his arm around her and drawing her knees to her chest so that she doesn’t take up too much space in the cramped backseat of the plane. She’s not even sure this tiny thing is supposed to hold more than one or two passengers, but she’s crammed in between Shawn and Gus, with Shawn looking out the window and Gus squeezing his eyes shut tightly. Selene has the other window seat, and she’s staring out in awe.

Juliet, on the other hand, is more inclined to agree with Gus.

She leans forward and taps her brother on the shoulder. “Ewan! Where, exactly, are we going?”

“Europe,” he says, as if it’s a totally rational answer. Then, he grabs a map from the pocket in front of him, and flips through it, seemingly at random. “Uh, Norway, specifically.”

“Are you kidding me!?” Juliet briefly looks down, catching a glimpse of patchwork cornfields before her gut clenches and she has to look back up. “We’ve been flying for almost three hours and we’re still in the Midwest!”

“We’ve got plenty of fuel, Juliet,” Lloyd insists. “Norway is an easy trip. Only nine or ten more hours.”

Defeated, she slumps back into Shawn, closing her eyes to pretend she’s somewhere other than hurtling through the air in an unreliable plane.

Nine more hours crammed into this thing. She curls tighter into Shawn.

“What’s the matter, baby?”

She groans. “Please stop me from killing him.”

\---

It takes Shawn three hours and forty-six minutes to figure out what’s got his wife so high-strung.

Yeah, he’s gonna need to break that record next time.

“Woah, Jules,” he says, leaning over Gus to look out the window, “we just went over a flock of geese! They’re in the V-shape and everything, look!”

“I’d rather not,” she says, her voice muffled by the fact that her head is pressed into his shoulder.

And there’s the lightbulb. Shawn Spencer-O’Hara, the modern-day Sherlock with way better hair, had flat-out forgotten his wife’s fear of heights.

_Nice one, dude._

He winces. “Shit, babe, I’m sorry…”

“I’m fine,” she mumbles. “We’ve only got, like, six more hours. Not even.”

He rubs her back, letting out a long sigh. “I should’ve remembered. Jesus, this is a tiny plane, I don’t blame you, I mean, I kinda feel like we’re gonna fall out of the sky every time we turn--”

“Shawn,” Juliet interrupts, “Stop talking.”

He shuts up.

“I really can handle this.”

“I know you can, baby,” he murmurs, kissing her hair. “But I’m right here if you need me.”

“I’ll always need you, Shawn. That’s part of the deal.” She slides her hand into his, and he smiles at the sight of their matching golden bands.

“Jules, do you even know how much I love you?”

She smiles, which means his distraction tactics are working. “Oh, nowhere _near_ as much as I love you.”

“Oh, yeah, you wanna bet on it?”

Juliet giggles as he begins to tickle her gently, leaning over to press a kiss on her lips. They accidentally begin to smush Selene, who makes a loud noise of protest, but Ewan is the next one to speak.

“Dude, that’s my sister.”

Shawn barely hesitates. “And now she’s my wife.” He looks down at Juliet for approval, and she smirks, her eyes glimmering, any fears forgotten.

“Kiss me again.”

He dives right in. If this is how she’s gonna get back at Ewan for ruining their honeymoon, well… he’s certainly on board.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: well, I'm not actually sure yet, but I guess they'll make it to Norway, and you can probably expect more PDA


	3. All Expenses... oh, wait, do we have money?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang makes it to Norway. Juliet puts her foot down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning everyone! I'm in a pretty great mood seeing as my (virtual) school day was delayed 2 hours. hope y'all have something to boost your mood today too!

Ewan is tense.

Years of training and drilling have taught him that tension is to be avoided; his muscles must be relaxed for his movements to be easy, efficient, and fluid. But as he leads his reluctant team through the forest that skirts the ski chalet, he’s tense.

They’d run out of fuel too soon. The clearing they’d been lucky enough to find had been a poor excuse for an airstrip. Lloyd had had to call for emergency help, which meant that anyone following them would be able to find them in mere hours…

This was not how any of this was supposed to go.

“Come on,” he growls. “We have to keep moving.”

“Ewan,” Juliet snaps, “there’s a foot of snow on the ground, and we’re all dressed for California.”

His sister has been slow and shaky since the almost-crash, but he doesn’t have time to check up on her right now. “Well, the faster we move, the sooner we can get inside!” he retorts. “You can buy warm things at the chalet; we’ll need to go inside to find our next stop anyway.”

“Hold on, hold on,” Shawn pants. “Dude, it’s almost two in the morning. We’ve been awake for way too long. Can’t we, like, stop at the chalet and actually get some rest?”

“Yeah, if you like resting in a cell,” Ewan growls. “We’ll have to move on as quickly as we can. So come on, let’s _go.”_

He hears grumbling behind him, but they finally pick up the pace. Luckily, no one is out on the slopes at this time of night, but still, five silhouettes against stark white snow would no doubt stand out in the moonlight. So Ewan leads them through the woods, until they reach first a gravel road, and then an asphalt parking lot. They gather under a trail map, and Ewan absently notices that Shawn is only wearing a t-shirt. “Man, are you insane?”

“He gave me his jacket, Ewan,” Juliet says, her patience clearly running thin. “Now are we going to get out of the cold before dawn, or what?”

Ewan squints at the map. “Less than ten minutes, Julie. You won’t freeze.”

This, at least, seems to appease their band of travelers, and they set off at a quick pace toward the chalet. Thankfully, when they find it, the automatic doors do slide open.

“Can I help you?” asks a balding man, who’s half-asleep at the reception desk.

Ewan shakes his head. “We lost our luggage, because our airline is a piece of shit. We’ll pay for what we buy, we just need something warm from your gift shop.”

“Closed until 9,” the guy mumbles. “Do you want a room, or…”

They can’t stay here, at such a small place so close to where they’d crashed, but before Ewan can decline, Juliet has stepped forward. “Yes. Do you have a chart of room sizes?”

Ewan groans, scrubbing a hand over his face. He’s just as tired as they are, he just doesn’t whine about it all the time. “Juliet--”

She actively ignores him. “Gus, Selene, would you guys mind sharing a room with Ewan? There will be two queen beds, and I wouldn’t ask except I have no idea what we can pay for…”

“I’m about to fall asleep standing up,” Gus groans. “I’ll take any actual bed you can get.”

Selene nods. “This place is _slick._ I’m down for anything.”

“But what, you get your own room?” Ewan asks his sister, resigned to staying put for the night.

Juliet tosses her hair and draws her husband’s jacket tighter around herself. “It’s my honeymoon.”

\---

As much as she’s flaunted the honeymoon point for Ewan, by the time Juliet actually gets to the small room she and Shawn are in, she doesn’t feel like doing much of anything that involves being conscious. But to her surprise, Shawn kneels in front of the woodstove in the wall across from the bed, and begins stacking logs in it.

“This place is so expensive, you’d think they’d have people to build the fires for you,” he jokes. His smile is tired, but it’s real.

Juliet flops back onto several layers of down blankets over a memory foam mattress. “Shawn, you don’t have to do that…”

She hears him crumpling newspaper. “Don’t be silly, Jules, I know you’re still freezing. This’ll warm us up plenty while we sleep.”

Kicking off her boots, she rolls over so that she’s lying on the bed entirely, but can lean off the end to reach his shoulders. “I want you to warm me up.”

“And I will be happy to do just that,” he assures her, “once we have a nice, roaring fire. Do you think we can get chestnuts to roast over it?”

She kisses his cheek messily. “It’s too late for me to laugh, babe. Or too early. Just come to bed.”

He insistently strikes a match, setting his stacked logs and kindling aflame. “There we go.” He kisses her on the lips. “Cuddles, or…?”

“Just cuddles tonight,” she sighs. “Not much of a honeymoon, I know, but I’m beat. I did not realize how much shit was gonna hit the fan today.”

Shawn groans in agreement, stripping down to boxers and a t-shirt. She smiles appreciatively at how the dark tee stretches over his muscles. “Ewan will probably be around to wake us up in like three hours, anyway.”

Juliet shakes her head as she cuddles into him. “I deadbolted the door.”

She feels more than hears him chuckle as he pulls the soft, thick, warm blankets over them. “That’s my girl.”

“Your wife,” she reminds him, smiling sleepily.

“My wife,” he agrees. He kisses her on the lips again. “My wife.”

She can barely keep her eyes open. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say that.”

His lips brush her forehead. “Well, I know I’m never gonna get tired of saying it. So that checks out.” He yawns. “G’night, Jules. Love you.”

She’s barely awake enough to make her lips move. “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: bundle up!


	4. Okay, we have some money...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang still has to be on the move. The only question is, where are they headed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter somehow got Long. Not, like, super long, but it's almost 1500 words!

Selene lags behind the rest of the group, not because she’s tired, like Shawn and Gus, but because she wants a moment to simply appreciate the brilliant colors spreading into the dawn sky.

She’s never been an early bird or a night owl-- when she’s up, she’s up, so she can generally wake at any time she sets her alarm. So while Ewan was literally dragging Gus from the bed, she’d been able to dress quickly, and had met Shawn and Juliet in the gift shop to buy warmer clothes. Now, they’re all decked out in fleecy hoodies emblazoned with the hotel’s logo, which don’t help much as they trudge along the wet asphalt of the only road leading away from the chalet.

“Pick up the pace,” Ewan calls. “We have to get off this road before traffic comes. There’s no reason for foot traffic here, and I don’t want to attract any more attention.

“I don’t know, at this point I wouldn’t mind hitchhiking,” Shaw muses.

Selene laughs. “Yeah, and if we meet someone creepy, Ewan or Juliet can just take him out and steal his car.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Ewan says slowly.

“Yes, it is!” Juliet shoots Selene a look. “We are not committing any more crimes than we have to. Ewan, how do you even know that this road leads anywhere noteworthy?”

“Small village in a few miles,” he says. “Caters mostly to the people staying in that chalet, or somewhere similar, but it has a few inns for anyone who can’t afford a thousand dollars a night.”

“Oh god, please tell me that’s not what we spent,” Juliet groans.

“Yeah that seems excessive,” Selene agrees. “My pillow was flat.”

“That mattress was like sleeping on a cloud, though,” Gus points out.

Shawn fist-bumps him. “You know that’s right.”

“Guys,” Juliet interrupts, “we’re on the run from a black ops military team, so don’t get used to luxury hotels. Be glad you have a pillow, flat or not.” She gives her brother a look Selene has gotten from her sisters before, mainly when she swears she hasn’t stolen their makeup but then walks out in a familiar shade of lipstick. “Ewan, is it even worth stopping in this town? Or are you just going to make us leave again?”

“We at least need to pass through,” Ewan grumbles. “Get some supplies. Food. Maps.”

“Yeah and we should switch out these clothes,” Selene muses, tugging at the hem of her bright pink hoodie. “Not that I don’t love matching with you, Juliet, but we’re wearing gear from the same chalet that whoever’s chasing us probably knows we’ve been at. Something less noticeable would be better… not to mention something waterproof, at least.”

She gets a few more paces down the road before she realizes everyone else has stopped, and is gaping at her in shock. “What? Don’t you guys ever read spy novels?”

Shawn elbows Gus in the side. “Dude, I think that makes you a Bond Girl.”

\---

They actually do make it to the village Ewan had insisted was present, and they somehow get there before noon. Walking into the picturesque little town, which looks straight out of any scandinavian travel website, is the least scared Gus has been this whole time.

Sure, they might still be running from a mysterious military group, but it feels a little ridiculous to imagine a SWAT team chasing them through these quaint cobbled streets. Gus almost laughs at the thought, before his nose distracts him.

The others are heading in the direction of an outerwear pro shop, but Gus stays where he’s at. “Hey, I smell pizza.” He sniffs again. “Wood fired. Fresh baked!”

Shawn squints. “Gus, I don’t think pizza counts as baked.”

Smacking his lips, Gus heads further down the street, following his nose. “I’ve heard it both ways.”

“I could totally go for wood-fired pizza right now,” Selene says, catching up to him and linking her arm through his.

Gus kisses her quickly on the lips. “We were made for each other.”

“Gus is right, we haven’t eaten all day,” Shawn says. “Jules? You coming?”

“Yeah, right after I get a down fucking coat,” she snaps. “I’m freezing down to my bones.”

“You sound hungry, babe,” Shawn points out.

“Enough jabbering,” Ewan cuts in. “Maybe we should split up, anyway. A smaller group will attract less attention.”

Gus looks to Juliet. Trusting her hasn’t led him astray yet.

“Hmmm…” she side-eyes her brother. “You know what, okay. Shawn, go with Gus and Selene, get us a table and at least two large pizzas. Ewan and I will get some gear and ask around about a cheap place to stay.”

“Yessss!” Gus pumps his fist. Shawn holds his own out. 

“Punch it in, buddy!”

Juliet rolls her eyes and stalks toward the outfitters. 

“C’mon, boys!” Selene calls.

As Gus lets his girlfriend drag him toward the pizza place, he decides he’s not just unafraid… he’s actually starting to have fun.

\---

Juliet picks up a wool base layer shirt, fingering the soft material as she tries to decide between the pink, blue, and green options. She ends up grabbing the two shirts at the top of the stack, because honestly, she has more important things to worry about. Even as she moves toward the hanging rack to find more shirts for the boys, her head is on a swivel as she identifies every other patron in the store.

An older woman and a man in his 40s are behind the counter. They’re chatting with each other and seem harmless enough. At this point, she doesn’t think there could be anyone waiting for them, anyway.

A young couple, almost as underdressed as Juliet, trying on different coats. They’re speaking loudly with British accents, and the union jack on the shoulder of the man’s t-shirt fits that. Again, nobody to be worried about.

Two harried parents are trying to find snow boots for three kids more interested in sword fighting with ski poles. Yeah, probably not secretly black ops.

As Juliet looks around the rest of the store, she realizes someone is missing. Where is--

“You ready yet?”

Juliet claps a hand over her mouth as she whirls around, facing her brother. “God, Ewan! Don’t scare me like that!”

He shrugs. “You should be more alert.

Juliet socks him in the shoulder and picks up the shirts. “Did you get coats?”

“Yep.”

“We should get ski pants.”

“Nope. Too limiting for movement.”

She sighs and rolls her eyes. “Fine. Long underwear, then. And some lined leggings.”

“Hurry up, I’m getting in line,” Ewan grumbles.

She finds what she was looking for and follows him there, her gaze focused out the window. There’s an SUV rolling slowly down the street, with windows too tinted to be normal… and no license plates…

“Ewan,” she says.

He’s grabbing the paper bag from the cashier. “What?”

She drags him away as if they’re leaving, but hesitates by the door. “Look.”

“Shit.” Ewan’s hand goes to his gun and he shoves the bag into her arms. “Shit, shit, shit--”

“What are you going to do?” she demands, grabbing his arm before he can load the gun. “Are we supposed to go two to god knows how many in the middle of the street? And what about Shawn and Gus and Selene?”

Ewan shakes his head. “They’ll be fine. Right now we need to get to whoever’s in that van before they get to us.”

“No, we don’t,” Juliet argues. “That’s a horrible idea.”

“Well, what would you suggest?”

Juliet takes a deep breath, recognizing that her plan is hardly better than his.

She pulls on one of the beanies they’ve just bought, and motions for him to put on a coat. “Come with me,” she says, trying to steady her voice, “and act natural.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: will Ewan listen to Juliet, or is this gonna be the worst case of sibling disagreement ever?


	5. Act Natural

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone listen to Juliet. Juliet has a plan. Totally foolproof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a bit later than usual, I forgot it was Monday ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Shawn grabs the chunk of pineapple that Selene’s set aside on her plate, but before he can get it to his mouth, she smacks the back of his hand, hard. “Are you taking my food!?”

“You weren’t gonna eat it!” he protests. “Who doesn’t like pineapple on pizza, anyway!?” He’s even gotten Jules to eat it, after a years-long battle.

“Cheese, pepperoni, and sausage. No vegetables, no fruit. I know _exactly_ how I like my pizza. It’s a science.”

“You know that’s right,” Gus agrees. He, too, has always preferred meat-heavy pizzas, so Shawn knows he won’t be getting any help from his best friend.

“Then why are you eating the pineapple, anyway?” he whines.

Her answer is cut off by the hubbub of Juliet and Ewan joining them, carrying large bags but still looking far too rushed for a shopping trip.

“Hey, babe,” Shawn says, scooting over to let her sit next to him in the booth, “what’s up?”

“Don’t look now-- no, seriously, Shawn, don’t look,” she says, “but we’re not as safe here as we thought. Black SUV coming up and down the main road; no plates, looks bulletproof. It’s only a matter of time before they park somewhere and whoever’s inside starts looking around more.”

“So why are we at a goddamn sit-down restaurant?” Ewan snaps.

Shawn uses everyone’s distraction to grab the piece of pineapple he’d been trying to steal from Selene. “Sorry, would you have preferred takeout?”

“I don’t know, I don’t think these toppings would travel well,” Gus muses.

Ewan ignores them. “Juliet, they _are_ going to find us.”

“No,” she says calmly, taking a slice of pineapple pizza from the tray in the middle of the table. “They’re not. Take off your jacket.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“You’re practically wearing tactical gear, Ewan. Take off the jacket and put on the blue hoodie with the retro logo we bought. Shawn, there should be a black one with a vaporwave-style design; you get that. Gus, Selene, feel free to treat yourselves to hoodies or hats, but don’t layer up too much. We’re comfortable in here; no need to wear all of our ski gear.”

Shawn obediently dons the hoodie, grinning at the neon-esque logo over his heart. “Jules, is it the same on the back?”

“Yep, just bigger.” She keeps chewing her pizza.

Ewan scoffs as he watches everyone else kit themselves out. “Are you kidding me? We’re wearing the whole fucking rainbow over here. I thought we bought all black.”

“Of course not,” Juliet refutes, her voice still weirdly calm. “Ewan, the ski slopes around here look like a day-glo pride festival. But a group of special ops agents, or people running from them, are more likely to be in all black.”

The table stays expectantly silent as Ewan scans the restaurant around them. Shawn takes the opportunity to do the same-- he doesn’t see anyone who looks like they might have come out of the SUV Jules had described, but he _does_ see different colors at every table, neon jackets slung over the backs of chairs. 

_Jules is right. We can blend in._ He smiles, leaning over to kiss his wife on the cheek. “Great thinking, babe. We’re in good shape.”

A satisfied smile curves over Juliet’s lips, though her sharp gaze remains fixed on the door. “I certainly think so.”

Shawn continues to keep his head on a swivel as they all chow down on pizza, conversation tentatively returning to the table.

“So, Juliet, do you guys _all_ like pineapple on pizza?” Selene asks.

“It’s mostly Shawn’s thing,” Jules answers, biting off the end of her crust, which is all that remains of her first piece. “Gus and I like it fine, but if we get multiple pizzas we’re usually eating more of the other one.”

“Which absolutely works for me,” Shawn mutters.

The conversation continues easily for everyone except from Ewan, who’s sulking in the corner of the booth, hunched over and glowering. Shawn even manages to quote Marty McFly for five minutes straight before anyone calls him out on it. But he still notices when the front doors swing open and admits four men wearing all black. They’re not in full SWAT gear, but they’re certainly not inconspicuous. Shawn reaches down to take Juliet’s hand under the table.

“I see them,” she whispers, taking a sip of her hot cocoa. Her eyes flit around the table. “Everyone act natural.”

Gus crams an abnormally large bite of pizza into his mouth. Selene slurps her soda loudly, staring directly at the intruders. Ewan looks like he wants to melt under the table.

“I really don’t think this is the place for a branch office,” Juliet says, her voice pitched in a way that Shawn can tell is fake. “Sure, it’s picturesque, and ski lodge tourists are a huge part of our business, but we’re not going to be running a retail store, and this just doesn’t seem like the area for a corporate office.”

Surprisingly, Selene is the first to play along. “Sorry, are you saying you _don’t_ want to work in a place where you can see the Northern Lights?”

“It’s not practical,” Gus offers. “Too cold.”

Shawn laughs. “It would be awesome, that’s for sure, but I think I would spend more time skiing than planning.”

“Besides,” Juliet says, “there’s no guarantee we’d actually get to work here. We’re just the scouting team.”

They continue this ridiculous charade of corporate speak even as their stalkers interrogate everyone from the hostess to the chef; seriously, Shawn sees them bang through the swinging kitchen doors. But it appears they’re speaking too loudly, or maybe carrying too big of sticks, because two of the waiters escort them out fewer than twenty minutes after they’d entered. Shawn breathes a sigh of relief.

“This doesn’t mean we’re safe,” Ewan points out.

Selene eats a mozzarella stick. “So pessimistic.”

“He’s right,” Juliet sighs. “They’re still here. But… I think we’ve got a chance to make an unexpected move.”

Ewan makes a noise of absolute disgust. “Again? You and your _plans.”_

Juliet pulls out her phone; Shawn watches curiously as she opens the VRBO app. “It worked this time, didn’t it?” She smiles at Shawn, her hand still in his. “Let’s just say I’ve learned to think outside the box.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: fun domestic shenanigans with the shules honeymoon fluff these recent chapters have been lacking


	6. Honeymoon Suite (Almost)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang hides in plain sight. Shawn and Juliet take advantage of their downtime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wacky floorplan of this loft is legitimately based off a place I've stayed. I can't describe it in a way that really makes sense bc the place in person does not make sense. There's no ground floor, just a door to a stairwell to the main floor, and then the loft above that... yeah, you'll see.

Juliet cranes her neck to look up the stairs into the loft. The entry is ground level, but most of the apartment is on the upper level, which makes it very inconvenient to search for intruders without getting too far from the door.

“Stay here,” she tells Shawn, Gus, and Selene. She knows they won’t listen to her, but it merits voicing, at least. She lifts her gun and climbs the stairs slowly, not making a sound.

Thankfully, the claustrophobic stairs open into a wide living area, and she can clearly see the kitchen. “Clear,” she calls.

There’s the sound of a door slamming open behind her. “Clear,” Ewan calls. 

Juliet moves in front of the next bedroom door before he can try to knock it off his hinges. “Hey, hey, _renting._ Use the doorknob.”

Ewan grunts, looking at something over her head. “That’s weird.”

“What?” 

“The top of this wall is open.”

Indeed, when Juliet turns to look, the corner room Ewan had barged into has a normal, sealed wall, but this one stops maybe a foot from the ceiling. “Huh. Interesting architectural choice.” Juliet opens the door, aims her gun at the corners, and decides they’re all empty. “Okay, you get the bathroom, I’ll check the loft floor.”

The only unusual thing about the loft floor is the odd placement of beds-- the stairs lead up to a catwalk sort of hallway, to the right of which is an alcove with a canopied queen bed. Further along, the hallway has another wider section, with another large bed. It ends in an actual door that leads to a second bathroom… but both beds are open to the entirety of the rest of the apartment, only separated by space and waist-high walls.

That means there’s one closed-off bedroom in this whole place.

“Hey, Jules!” Shawn calls from the living area. He waves. “Whatcha doing up there?”

“Just making sure everything’s normal,” she answers, not bothering to scold him for not staying put. “I think I know which bedroom is ours.”

Her husband grins. “Does it have rose petals and a record player?”

She laughs and rolls her eyes as she makes it down the stairs. “Even better. It has sealed walls.”

\---

Shawn shifts a little bit under Juliet, holding her closer in his arms. The large, industrial-looking window of their room has a gauzy curtain pulled over it, but he can still see the glow of the moon over the small street. His wife is asleep, and he’s heading there, but he takes a moment to look down at her, kissing her mussed hair as his hands move absently over her bare skin.

He knows they’re still on the run, technically, but this is the first night that’s actually felt like a honeymoon. And not just because she’d dragged him to bed after instructing Ewan to take care of the dinner dishes.

“I love you,” he whispers.

Even if they’ve only got a few days until men in black come crashing through the door, he’s going to make the most of it.

\---

Juliet wakes to the sound of yelling and laughter from the kitchen.

The warmth of the morning sunlight tells her she’s slept later than usual, but she’s still surprised and a bit disappointed to find the bed empty next to her. She groans and stretches, briefly considering Shawn’s t-shirt as a clothing option, but instead going to the trouble of pulling out a white babydoll nightdress from her suitcase and wrapping a lacy pink dressing gown over it. If Shawn’s out of bed already, she’ll just have to convince him to come back.

She finds Shawn and Gus in the kitchen, Gus stirring a large bowl of some sort of batter and Shawn holding a carton of blueberries, which he alternately tosses into the bowl or his own mouth. Sometimes he misses entirely, and they bounce off Gus’ head.

Actually, that’s probably what he was aiming for.

Juliet briefly considers rethinking her plan when she spies Gus, but he’s dealt with plenty of PDA from them during their stint as roommates. “Good morning, boys,” she says, leaning against the doorframe and making eye contact with Shawn. Her smile grows when she sees his jaw drop. “What are you up to?”

“Gus is helping me make you breakfast in bed,” Shawn says, already sounding slightly breathless. “Just, uh, ten minutes, I’ll be right there, promise.”

Juliet puts her hands on her hips as she surveys the kitchen. The longer she looks, the less she likes. “Don’t forget to mop the batter off the counter,” she says. “Also, where are Ewan and Selene? They can’t possibly have slept through this.”

“Oh, Ewan went for a run,” Shawn tells her, already hurrying to wipe the sticky mess from the countertop. “Selene decided she wanted to go with him. They were the first ones up, Gus caught them right as they were leaving.”

Juliet sighs. “When they get back I’ll explain to them the concept of _hunkering down…_ but right now, those pancakes do look good.”

Shawn grins, his eyes alight with mischief. “You’ll get yours on a silver platter, Jules… and I’ll bring syrup.”

“Oh, no.” The mental image is not one she wants to think about. “If you think you’re putting syrup anywhere on my naked body, you’ve got another thing coming.”

There’s a clatter as Gus tosses the whisk down in defeat. “Do you two even understand the concept of boundaries?”

“It’s our honeymoon, Gus,” Juliet reminds him.

Shawn is still stuck on the syrup thing. “What if we shower together after?”

_”No,_ Shawn.”

Gus makes a helpless sound of defeat. “I will make all of the pancakes if you two will do this _anywhere else.”_

Shawn grins, and Juliet laughs, patting Gus on the shoulder. “Alright, alright, sorry.”

“I’m not!” Shawn takes her hand in his and nearly drags her to the bedroom, his lips on hers before the door is even closed.

“I didn’t realize you packed stuff like _this…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the shules content! Next chapter is gonna be more group shenanigans and fun. Lemme know what you guys wanna see in this fic and there's a good chance I can work it in, whether in this little "eye of the storm" section, or later on!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! leave a comment or kudos if you want, or find me on tumblr at nurseherewards !


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